| new day. |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|02:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Sparrows | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Strokes | ] |
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Gandhi |
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| big brown leather chair |
[Jul. 28th, 2008|05:37 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 76 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Inmates | ] |
"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted." - John Lennon |
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|
| I can't be your prisoner |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 76 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Holy Fuck | ] |
"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not our circumstances." -Martha Washington |
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| try to get away from it all |
[May. 25th, 2008|07:36 pm] |
i'm currently sitting at the meanwhile by myself. i have no idea whats playing on the jukebox but i like it. i needed to get out of the house. i needed to get out of my own mind. i can't be at home by myself anymore and i don't know why. i can't be by myself in general anymore and i don't know why. i can't be left alone with my own thoughts because they wander to a place where i don't want to be. the fact that i'm completely alone these days is killing me. i have very few friends and there are really only 3 of them that i like spending time with. i've notice lately how incredibly selfish this world is and it makes me sick. i'm one of the most giving and selfless people i know and i didn't think i'd ever be able to say that. i'm seriously considering moving to either Anchorage or Juneau Alaska at some point within the next year. I know i've said it before many times how i just need to "get away." but seriously this time... I'm going to do it. i took the chance to move once before and that didn't really turn out too well. but it was an experience i'll never forget. i need to prove to myself i can start a new life. get new friends. a new job. something new. something refreshing. i've been here too long. i can't handle it anymore. i love this city and i could never imagine living anywhere else but at the same time it's beginning to suck the life out of me. no one here knows me. meg han is the only one who's been able to put up with me for the last 2 years. everyone else has no idea who the hell i am. i dont even know who the hell i am half the time.
this didn't make anything easier. |
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| "what are you people... on dope!?!" |
[May. 2nd, 2008|07:49 pm] |
i bought lots of things today.
for myself.
and now i feel much better.
how bout you come over and entertain me now. =] |
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| oh420. |
[Apr. 20th, 2008|11:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 511b | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thewho. | ] |
Happy 420.
today was a good day.
smoked.
got drunk.
took a nap.
smoked.
worked.
smoked.
smoked.
cleaned.
and now i'm going to drink some beers.
success!
i hope you all had a lovely holiday.
ohitslove<3
 |
|
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| ohhhh eskimo! |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|04:01 pm] |
alaska.
smoking weed.
making friends with eskimos.
"The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams. Just a series of blurs like I never occurred." |
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| happy? maybe. |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|12:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 511B | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Muscles. | ] |
Parliaments give me a headache.
Regardless, I am quite happy these days. And I just realized that today. I think I need to have a bad day now and then to realize how enjoyable the others have been.
There is, however, and small something missing in my silly little life.
I can live without it.
It'd just be nice to have.
Maybe it'll come with spring.
Maybe.
I won't get my hopes up.
Good attitudes produce good days.
Let's go dancing tonight.
=] |
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|
| oh dear. |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|12:08 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tegan and sara | ] |
it's officially 68 minutes past my bed time. I have to be to work in 4 hours and 52 minutes.
jesus h. why do i continue to do this?
night. |
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| ugh ugh. |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|03:01 pm] |
why do i insist on constantly procrastinating.
this is it.
i need to be done. |
|
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| it just hurts sometimes. |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|06:08 am] |
sometimes and only somtimes, i miss you to the point of tears.
i though about you today for the first time in a while.
i just wish God wouldn't have taken you from me when he did.
I miss you so much.
Kyle, i need you everyday.
 |
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|
| spiders from mars. |
[Feb. 22nd, 2008|12:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | your heart is an empty room | ] |
i go back to work today.
i guess when you take a week off from work you're bound to run out of money, cigarettes, and weed at some point... right?
well, regardless, that's what happened and everyone's been bugging me asking me when i'm going back.
so i called today.
i get section 15.
lamesauce.
but hopefully i'll be in and out and make about 20$$$ so i can buy gas and cigarettes. ha.
and i think i get paid from the bakery which would be pretty sweet as well.
i should probably get my ass out of bed and walk down there and get my check, and find out the next time they want me to work.
oh, hopefully not tomorrow morning at 6.
nomegusta.
 |
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|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|05:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tbs | ] |
I really don't understand why I do the things I do.
The other night was stupid and should never happen again.
I wish my cough would go away so I could actually smoke.
irritated. |
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| life on the inside. |
[Feb. 18th, 2008|08:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 511B | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | indie rock and roll | ] |
so i've been sick.
really sick.
my doctor called me off of work from a week.
ha.
i totally feel better today though which is awesome.
i might try to go back to work on wednesday or thursday but until then...
i'm going to be lazy.
and i'm not going to feel bad about it. =]
i'm glad i have my best friends back.
i'm glad i have my own room.
i'm glad i have cool roommates.
i'm glad i'm happy.
let's go out to lunch. |
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| as of late. |
[Jan. 20th, 2008|06:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | insomnia | ] |
There’s a light bulb dangling from string
It’s slowly swaying up over my head now
As I jot down the words that’ll never be sung
And wait for my headache to numb
And the wind sounds as if the world’s sighing
And the moon’s just a torn fingernail
As the TV flickers and hums by the wall
And I wait for my eyesight to fade
so...
It’s so damn slow
so...
It’s so damn slow
And the bright-eyed choke on ambition
And the old folks circle their graves
And the young ones are busy destroying their names
And you’re still just wasting away.
I sit and watch the screen for a message
Some kinda sign that says we’re OK
But the screen stays blank till I turn the thing off
And wait for my conscience to break.
I hope you’re learning to listen
And I hope you’re learning to stay
And I hope you find what you’re missing
And I hope that you’re making you’re way
I’m a headcase if I don’t keep moving
And my head hurts if I don’t sit still
It’s an itch that I’ll never stop scratching
It’s a hole that I’ll never quite fill |
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| i'll say it anyway... |
[Nov. 10th, 2007|03:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 1315 | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | animal collective | ] |
it's kind of odd that i have 2 jobs right now and i absolutely love both of them.
that never happens.
i've never liked a job before in my life.
i actually look forward to going into work.
WEIRD.
i'm bored.
waiting for meg han to get home so we can smoke and then go thrifting.
word. |
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|
| im trailing off again... |
[Nov. 7th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 1315 | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dragonforce | ] |
I didn't lose my job at Wealthy Street Bakery. Justin called me yesterday to get my schedule so I went in today. Everyone was happy to see me and was asking where I've been. It's nice to work with good people for once. And as much as I hate going in there at 6am day after day after day.... I'm really okay with it.
I have two great jobs right now and I really don't even know how that happened. My mom says it's because I started praying again, and I think I believe her.
It's kind of crazy how much my work ethic has changed in the past month. I look forward to going to work and making money. I like the people I work for, and the people I work with, and for me that means everything. I don't want to do this forever, but for now it's good enough.
This time last year I was a completely different person, and I would like to think that I've changed for the better.
I just need to make some goals. But I really don't even know where to start.
I think I need some inspiration. But I really don't even know where to find that anymore, either.
But for now... this will do.
I love my friends.
 |
|
|
| ahhhh 76 |
[Oct. 24th, 2007|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 76 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | indie bull shit. | ] |
i love that i'm within walking distance.
coffe coffee coffeeeee.
and the impossible quiz is kicking our asses.
but we're going to finish it.
i fucking promise you that. |
|
|
| rahhhhh. |
[Oct. 23rd, 2007|09:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the 1315 | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
we're watching Aladdin
and i'm perfectly content. |
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